Monthly Archives: August 2011

Kick Once For Yes, Twice For No

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I have been reading Facebook posts about the Due in December girls feeling their babies kick, and I have been so jealous  the entire time.  I hadn’t felt my little one squirm at all, at least I didn’t think I had.  There were a couple instances where I would have sworn she was dancing on my right kidney, but it only happened twice, and I wasn’t very sure.  I figured, it just wasn’t my time for it yet.

As I started to get a little farther along I started looking up ways to get her to move.  I tried the flash light and ice water.  We used my phone to play music for her, and I tried laying on my belly and being very still.  Nothing worked, I never felt anything.  My Mom mentioned to me that she never felt me when she was pregnant, so I just let it go.

I was about 24 weeks when I started to get a little worried about not feeling her.  I always get anxious right before my next appointment.  Every month I start to worry something is wrong with her shortly before I go in, but every time she is just fine.  This time the anxiety was worse.  Maybe the stress of life these days added to it, who knows, but I was worried.  Usually Hubby Bunny can keep me calm until the appointment, but this week it just didn’t work, I needed confirmation.

I guess it didn’t really help that I had seen 2 stories about women suddenly and inexplicably losing their babies during their third trimester…  I can’t say anything about these stories being posted on our board, that’s part of what the group is about.  If we can’t deal with other people’s sad stories, how can we ever hope to support one another if it happens to us?  So, I sucked it up, and read the stories, but they really got to me.

I posted on the board about it, jsut to get a little support from the other girls.  They are pretty awesome and made me feel a lot better, and most importantly, made me feel like it was ok to call my doctor about this.  I don’t call him, at all, I don’t want to be a nuisance.  When I have a question I either keep it until my next appointment or I research it to death until I am satisfied.  I can’t really Google ‘is my baby’s heart still beating’ and hope to get a reliable answer though.

So when I was 24 weeks and 2 days along I called my doctor’s office.  The receptionist said she’d send a message to the traige nurse and I would get a call back.  The nurse called back before too long, and she was super nice.  I told her I didn’t want to waste anybody’s time, I was probably over reacting.  She puts my concerns to rest, and told me she would go see what the doctor thinks and give me a call back.  A few minutes later she called me back and told me he had asked for me to come in.

Well, of course our girl had a good strong heart beat, I felt a little bit silly for over reacting, but much better now that I knew.  The doctor even said that peace of mind is priceless, and I wholeheartedly agreed.  The really embarrassing thing about all this?  It happened on a Tuesday, and my next appointment, which included an ultrasound, was on that Thursday.  I couldn’t wait 2 whole days to find out.

So yea, that was last week, a week ago today to be exact.  I am now 25 weeks and 2 days.  Sunday night I started to feel her wiggle a bit.  Yesterday morning I was feeling it a little more.  Last night she was wiggling around all over the place, and gave me to really good hard kicks in the gut.  Now?  Wow, I think she needs Ritalin!  She is ALL OVER the place!  I did read somewhere that this is when they start to turn from breach to heads down, so maybe that’s what she is doing.  Although if that’s the case she is going the long way.

When I had my ultrasound she had her head on my right side and her bottom on my left, and her little feeties were pointed straight up into my stomach.  My placenta is mostly in front and a bit over the top, so that’s what she was kicking and why I couldn’t feel it.  Now, you’d think that if she was turning head down that she would go the short way.  Well apparently not, if that’s her goal right now she is going through breach to get there!  I almost wish she’d take a nap, but not really.  It’s so nice finally feeling her and knowing she is there and doing ok.

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A Letter to my Daughter

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Dear Alice,

Today I am exactly 25 weeks pregnant with you.  We’ve come a long way, and I am still a little surprised every time I feel you or see you on a computer screen.  It’s all very surreal.  I try to think about what Christmas will be like this year, and it doesn’t feel like it will be any different, although I know it will.  I have a little section in my closet full of cute frilly pink things sized my month, and a couple pairs of tiny shoes that you will just die for!  It just doesn’t feel like you’re real though.

Your father tried to make sure I always know though.  He is really excited to meet you, maybe more than I am.  I hope he gets to feel you kick, and soon.  He tries from time to time, but I can still barely feel you…  although you just kicked me pretty hard, twice!  I wish he was in here with me to try to feel it.  Anyway, now that you’ve stopped distracting me from the task at hand…  You’ve already got him wrapped around your finger, and you don’t even know him yet.  You will soon though, so soon I can hardly believe it!

To be perfectly honest, I had always hoped I would have a boy first and a girl second.  I though the big brother thing would be nice, maybe I am silly.  However, from the moment I new you were there I knew you were a girl.  I had absolutely nothing to go on for this, I just knew.  Your father claims he was just as sure that you were a boy, but I think he did it just to tease me.  I don’t know where this feeling came from, or why.  I did know that if we went to our ultrasound and found out that you were a boy I would have been completely shocked.  Neither of us cared if you were a boy or a girl, as long as you were healthy, and human.  There was some talk of you being a pony, and at one point of you being a dragon.  I am still not sold on you not being a dragon though, I think you are breathing fire up my throat some times.

I can’t say that this has been easy.  You’re wearing me out, keeping me up, and I am pretty grumpy.  You’re inspirational though, hey, I am here aren’t I?  It’s all worth it, every tums I have to eat, and every time it takes me half the night to fall asleep only to wake up immediately and have to run to the bathroom to pee.  Every time my hips hurt, or I can’t stand up straight, it’s all worth it, and I can’t wait to meet you.  I know that some day you’re going to make my life very trying, and we might not get along very well all the time, but you’ll still be my baby girl.  We both love you so much already.

~Mommy